Not everyone struggles with social situations. Some people know exactly what to say and do while managing to be witty and tactful. Some people are really funny, entertaining and cool. Others are beautiful and charming. I am not any of these examples. Rather, one of the common threads of my life has been the overwhelming feeling of not really fitting in anywhere.
I have found isolated people within groups with whom I share an almost cosmic connection - like an understanding of souls who have known each other from past lives reaching back thousands of years. Once bonded with these isolated few I have been enveloped as a latecomer into the group they belong to. I have slowly learned that it is better for me to drop back and remain peripheral instead of struggling to belong...I always end up feeling foolish.
About a year ago Tim and I had been especially marginalized at an event, which sent me back in time to high school when all of these feelings of inadequacy were at their worst. Knowing how much my feelings were hurt he hugged me closer on the dance floor and whispered in my ear, "Imagine that we are hurtling through outer space with only each other to hold on to." I never loved him more than I did that very second. I think of that moment frequently but I used it as a survival mechanism recently. I am one lucky social misfit where it counts.