Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Filling the day

I'm in full swing with the coping mechanisms I know.

1. Avoidance:
Working has helped tremendously. I wonder if I should just come in tomorrow too even though it's a day off for me. Normally I cherish my days off but now I'm frantically trying to make plans and arrange things so that there isn't a spare minute in the day. I'll get my toes done, hopefully get a haircut, take a long walk through Golden Gate park to the ocean, maybe go watch Twilight finally...I did put away the couple of onesies we already have for her. They are hidden at the bottom of a drawer.

2. Denial:
It's amazing what the human mind can do. I have almost completely blocked it out. I can speak of it now without my voice cracking (that only took one week) and it's as if I'm talking about any mundane thing. What facilitates this is that in my mind there is no possible way that this is really happening. We will go in next week and the sonographer will exclaim that they found it!! The ventricles will be normal. Everything will go back to being perfect. It just will. It has to.