I had the most boring OB appointment ever today. My weight gain is normal (14.5#), I am not hypertensive (100/64), my ute is almost up to my belly button now, and her little heart is just ticking away as demonstrated by doppler. I decided at the last minute to go ahead and do the AFP so I am once again on my way to looking like a heroin addict.
We talked about the radiology findings - Dr. Kamali scrunched up her face and said that she hates getting reports like these. Well, who doesn't? But she explained that there are these normal ranges and when your little person falls at one end or the other of that spectrum that it can be so upsetting and so meaningless. I get that based on my own experience. You see something you have to mention just to cover your ass and plant the seed for future talks and bloodwork etc. but you wish you didn't have to say it out loud to an owner because there is no real cause to worry yet. There is still the issue of the non-visible cavum septum pellucidum...elusive little jerk. She asked me to send her an email next Wed so she won't have to wait for the radiology report. I love my Ob.
I came home and as I was passing by the fridge I noticed the calendar. Only 5 whole days until AUS #2. I have mixed emotions about it now. On the one hand I desperately want good news so this can all become a memory...a story we will tell her all about later. On the other hand, I don't want the bad news for obvious reasons. Staying where we are isn't an option either though, is it? The futility of fighting the inevitable. I'll just never be comfortable with this much lack of control.
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