Monday, March 23, 2009

28 weeks

Me at 28 weeks. Puppet is being very helpful.

Glucose tolerance? I has it. Keep the cookies coming my way and nobody will get hurt.
Anemia?? I has that too. But just a tiny bit so no iron supplements yet. Hooray for pooping!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Before I even started this blog I had once central, burning question about motherhood: what is it in this transformation that makes some women begin to identify exclusively with being a mother at the exclusion of virtually all else? I had intended, in part, for this blog to be something I could look back on to determine if I had become one of those women and to trace the steps of how I got there. Maybe it's because the process itself is so gradual that I haven't come back to touch on this topic yet. A quiet weekend like this gives me time to process what is happening and then chose whatever response I want to manifest as opposed to reacting under stress and exhaustion, which is what I normally end up doing. It's still formative, but here's what I have so far:

I'm fairly prone to egocentric, self-absorbed thinking. In order to nurture another one must be less full ones 'self'. Since becoming pregnant I have observed a shift. My irreversible, unconditional connection to this baby of mine has forced me to turn away from the sense that I am the center of my own (or anyone else's) universe! Losing the familiar boundaries of my own skin and the weight of bearing responsibility for another is disorienting at times. Nevertheless, the death of my own falsely constructed ego that is driven by external circumstances...I do not mourn it! Rather, I think that the construction, maintenance and defense of my own ego has led to great dissatisfaction. I am trying to see this the opportunity to become more connected with something bigger and more meaningful all the while striving to be a person who can talk about something other than my kids. We'll see how this evolves...

Friday, March 6, 2009


Sorry, all. I've been trapped at the SF SPCA for days on end working my fool ass off. I'm not sure if it's a phase of the moon or the season or what but we have been so busy and the cases have been just bizarre! I believe in the mission of where I work but the 12-14 hours a day it takes to make it happen? Not so much.

We did get away last weekend. We left Saturday morning and drove south to the Pinnacles National Monument where we did some light hiking. We carried on to Paso Robles where we stopped at a winery - Tim did some tasting and I did some sniffing. We did manage to get a nice red blend and a Viogner that I am looking forward to in a few months. We got inspired to try to take that trip to Oregon to tase the Pinot Noir's for the season in November! Squee!! We stayed at a B & B in Cambria for the night. We went to the Hearst Castle in the morning - I wasn't expecting to be amazed but I was pleasantly surprised!! It's pretty cool if you ever get a chance to go. Next up was a stop to see the elephant seals - they are done breeding and the moms are all gone but their fatty babies are left behind. We got to stop at the Phoenix for lunch - yum!! We went up to Point Lobos State Reserve for more light hiking and for Tim to check out a diving opportunity. It's quite beautiful there! Then we drove past Carmel and Monterey on our way home Sunday night. It was a short, but nice getaway!
Lazy elephant seals above. To right: Me at 25weeks.
Notice any similarities??

Back to reality, I got home last night a little after 8:00 to find Puppet had a urinary obstruction. We turned around and went back to the clinic to unblock him. Struvites. Puppet is home now - his BUN (30), Cre (2.), and K (3.9) never even went out of range and the urine wasn't bloody so it was a quick turnaround. He's home now much to Frances's disappointment.

Puppet the night before he blocked
checking out our (free) Peg Perego
infant car seat.

Beyond that we are still in super plan and save mode. It's still overwhelming but once again my job has managed to distract me so much that there isn't any time left for something as silly as worrying, planning a future, or having feelings. Pffft!