Thursday, July 21, 2011


I just unwrapped my new mac. Our relationship is still in it's infancy but already I love it. I haven't used a mac since 1996 so this change is a bold leap of faith but I think it is good and right. So I'm navigating my new digs, figuring out how to manage my photos, upload, browse, be totally honest, it's nice to have a tiny place that is just mine. Presumptive though it is I suspect Tim will be happy to reclaim his own computing territory.

Letting go gracefully is something I think I will be navigating for a long time. I have been thinking a lot about my post on that - thinking about how to stay connected with her. Setting that groundwork is something that started when she was born and is ongoing. Hopefully it is as with most things that creation of the thing you want starts with knowing that you want it.

More acutely we are working on navigating sharing. Wow. Sharing is tough. Even for grown-ups. Look at me - happy to share anything in my life with my husband but still about to do backflips over this thin little laptop because I don't have to share! Silly and much less of a big deal than this post might suggest. Still, when it comes to sharing we insist that Ada does it. She is usually really good at this but last week when we were hanging out with Sarah and Sophia sharing came up as a repeated issue. Beyond insisting that she just do it I try to convince her that there is plenty to go around or that she can play with something else. Later, when she's older, we will have to start talking about bigger issues like need vs. want and being nice is important even when you don't want to do it.

Sharing cheese sticks and blueberries. Sometimes it's hard.

The three of them played together quite well and it warmed my heart to know that our little nucleus includes them and their little nucleus includes us.

The three of them just lined up on the sand box wall like that.

I love how their personalities are just out there with no apologies. These two are so much alike and yet different enough. 

Tim and I had a conversation the other night about the things that are emerging for us as things that we think are important for Ada to learn about. There are the obvious things like love, compassion, empathy. Then there are other things like respecting nature and knowing here her food comes from. Regarding nature we are navigating toward a camping trip that's been on my bucket list for the last 2 years. As to where her food comes from we tried last year to grow some food in our backyard. It seemed totally do-able until we finally gave in to the fact that it's too damn foggy to grow anything but lettuce. So I re-mapped our path and signed us up for a vegetable delivery and over the summer we will visit their farm instead. I wanted to try again this year to grow stuff but driving over to the Lucas's last weekend I was reminded of why that idea is just silly. Check out the fog rolling in over the hills:

The picture on the left was taken with my phone on my drive home from work one night. See that group of houses there in the distance at the end of the street? I live on the top of that hill. Can you see how the fog has rolled over the top of it and is rumbling over to the next valley below? Surely, at home I could hardly see across the street. 

An amazing thing about the climate in San Francisco is the foliage it supports. The cypress are sprawling while the eucalyptus are grand and there are flowers everywhere all year round. This also explains why the rest of the country is wearing shorts and flip flops but I just bought a new fleece jacket for Ada off of It was the only site selling a warm jacket in the middle of summer. Not bitching, just sayin'...


While we don't have any of these flowering bushes in our yard, our neighbors do and we enjoy their bushes from across the street, which is just as good. Meanwhile, I came in to work on Sunday to find the most beautiful flowers I've ever seen. R.I.P. Lucio, who succumbed to chronic renal failure last week at the age of 22. He was a sweet gray long-haired feline and his owner is a delight of a lady. I have learned to find my way through a supportive, tasteful euthanasia - thank goodness someone gave me a road map at a meeting years ago.


One final navigation: we'll be doing an assisted cycle next month and there is much to get in order before then. We've hardly fought the hard fight that some couples have - maybe rather than saying I'm infertile it's more accurate to say that I'm not as fertile as I once was. Even still, I can't believe we're here. It worked out for my friend Ananda and I'm thrilled to congratulate her - after heartache and disappointment, Dip is finally knocked up. I still hope that the jokes we made last fall come to be true - let's both have some twins. Damn, now that would be something to navigate, wouldn't it?

2 Lovies:

Lisa said...

All the best with your cycle. Be careful what you wish for when it comes to those twins though. ;)

Serendipitie said...

Hoping, hoping, hoping for a nice big reunion - if not this October, then sometime next year! xoxoxo