How to Create a New Reality

"for a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. but there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. at last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. this perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. happiness is the way. so treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one." - souza


 This post has been re-written three times now.

It started off as a vent after a couple of particularly grueling days at work. She was asleep by the time I got home on Wednesday night at nearly 9:00. I was so sad and frustrated that I sat down and actually counted the days ....Until what?

Well, you'd think I'd learn given that I've been here before. Apparently, I'm a slow study when it comes to life because here it is again. Quite frankly, I'm frustrated with myself. Even with all of the stuff that simply is gross, unfair, or ridiculously irritating, at the end of the day it really is a beautiful time of my life and I want to remember the good things for forever.

In reality, most of the goodness in life doesn't stem from some grand event. These moments are priceless to be sure - your wedding, giving birth, graduation, a great vacation - but few and far between. That is part of why I write here - the therapeutic part of it is taking all these tiny moments whose accumulation amounts to so much more and turning them into the memories I want to keep. I am emphasizing certain aspects in the writing my own story. It forces me to look for these little moments, the things to be thankful for and in doing so it changes me - slowly, but changes me for sure. In turn, my future reality becomes richer.


So, without further adieu, the stories I want to relive in my mind over and over...

Last night Ada and I took a bath together. I love doing this: soaping up her little toes, washing her curly fine baby hair, being so close with her as she is so happy and playing. I grabbed a handful of bubbles and blew into them making a little crater. I did it again. Then she did it - this little high-pitched, elongated "ffff". She was so proud! We stayed in the bath until our fingers were white and pruney - when Daddy came home Ada showed him her new trick and giggled. Really, so cute. 

Fingerpainting:






Playing in a box from my new favorite website:




The newest sport: climbing to bother a cat. Heaven help us now.




On Labor Day it was warm and sunny here so we scurried outside to soak it up. I even made sun tea and planted some flowers out front. Tim decided to build me a raised planter bed. So fun to see him get all mathematical and dirty! Since lettuce is about the only thing that is doing well in my foggy, windy yard that's about all we're planning to grow back there for now. Seriously, check out my tiny snow pea and my tiny green bean.

The face of love & happiness:




Interactions with the newest creepy baby: