Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Crying Uncle

To my left sits a tall stack of books and my cup of coffee. My Kindle is loaded with things that, in brief moments of inspiration, I decided I couldn't live without. A Valentine project from last year sits on the table still only half done. There are dishes and laundry to do. We have music class in less than 90 minutes and none of us is dressed yet. 

I've heard the analogy made that life is like juggling - some balls are up in the air being expertly tossed about at just the right moment while others lie on the ground, bouncing, rolling and generally going wayward. I've definitely dropped the reading ball just as I have dropped the blogging ball. Over the past three days three family members have contacted me independent of one another to ask what the heck is going on? Why no blogging? 

Sorry, been busy with this: 

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and this:

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Eczema. We're working on it. 

I'm a stay at home mom for the moment. I'm a suburban housewife. I got my Mrs. degree, as my mother would say. In the eyes of some, I've achieved a dream. And in the eyes of myself all the way up to May 14th I was pretty convinced that this was going to be really awesome. It is awesome but I'd say my definition of that word has expanded to include more than it ever did before. 

I really thought that being a stay-at-home-mom was, oh, how to say this gently? Easy. You know, lots of free time, waking up when you wanted to, not being rushed, doing crafts and baking, taking yoga and going for a morning run every day. I thought that because you weren't leaving all things family behind for 40+ hours a week that the list of stuff to manage would be tamed somehow.

I was wrong. SO WRONG.

This is harder than I expected.

I am astonished - I mean, absolutely astonished, that I am having so much trouble to keep up with two children, a not-very-demanding husband and a modestly sized house. Me. I am addicted to my Franklin Covey planner. I am a goal-setter, a high achiever, a perfectionist and above all else, a complete control freak. Back to those balls in the air. Just when I'm victoriously throwing my hands in the air shouting "I did it!" (a phrase in my lexicon, no doubt, thanks to Dora the Explorer ) because it seems that I've managed to achieve something resembling balance there comes another ball tossed in the air and a different ball drops.


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It's not all bad. Our morning table today.

I'm learning. Slowly. It's sinking in that to embrace some of the beautiful, joyful but fleeting parts of my life I have to let some other things go. Knowing that how you approach a situation, that is, your attitude, makes all the difference in the world I have decided to pretty much try my hardest at rocking out this staying home thing. Dare I say that most of the time we are having fun.

Morning tea parties

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The boys watching the Super Bowl

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Playing orange melon smile

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She is full of questions now. "What's his name?" and "What she said?" and "Where are those cars going?" are common ones to hear. I love how she shouts ,"Zero!" whenever a timer goes off. We look for geese when we drive along the Bronx River Parkway. She comes up with hilarious little projects like rearranging our silverware so all the spoons and all the forks are together

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and she puts glass baby food jars on her baby giraffes feet because apparently you need to wear shoes to drink coffee

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He's sitting up and about to crawl any day now. He's love, love loving solids

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This hair tuft drives me crazy. I must spend at least 2 hours a day rubbing his downy head with my cheek and my hand. Oh, and he looks like he might be a ginger. I'll be helpless if he is.

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My God, how she is growing. She is so perceptive and so sensitive - much more than Tim and I realized. We are having to really watch ourselves with her now. She has lately come up with things that we are quite certain we haven't said to her, which introduces a new ball to juggle: damage control when she hears something terrible from somewhere else. 

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She is at last using the potty

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Exploration abounds

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I'll try to be better about blogging. If for no other reason than to keep up the recording of memories. I do find it so gratifying to go back on this little site and see what we were up to at some point in the past.  It's good perspective. Happy hump day. I'll see you again next month. Just kidding (I hope). We'll see what I'm able to juggle later in the week!

4 Lovies:

christina said...

well... HI! :) you've been missed. and clearly not just by me.

love the photo of the boys watching the Superbowl with the nakedness in the background. :)

From A Doctors Wife said...

Everyone things being a stay at home mom is easy until they actually try it. Sure there isn't someone giving you deadlines and reviewing your performance, but it is still work. Somedays it would be nice to have a job to go to so I could catch a break:-) Those children of yours are precious, enjoy them and pay no attention to the balls on the ground.

Brook Redhead Reverie said...

It's good to see you! Both kiddos are getting so big. WOW!! Eh, you know sometimes when I think working full time totally sucks, and I want to be a stay at home mom, I totally realize that the people at work actually listen and behave better than my kiddos. And that moment of wanting to be a SAHM quickly passes. You are doing great, and the smiles on their faces are proof.

Unknown said...

On a similar note, one of my friends recently posted this blog:

I think it fits nicely with your juggling analogy. I'm sensing a theme or some sort of message I'm supposed to be receiving from the blogosphere because I have NOT yet accepted this juggling thing and still feel the need to keep all balls effortlessly in the air. And then, of course, I get sad and frustrated and down on myself when I can't do it.

Charlie's hair is currently looking red as well. We'll see. Fingers crossed.

- Cathy B (who still hasn't created a blogger login and probably never will)