Today I was at work while the majority of the country took their official New Years day off. I was a little resentful of this until I realized that a very special and rare opportunity had presented itself: I could have lunch with my husband. This almost never happens but when it does it is romantic and spontaneous - great qualities of our dating life that just didn't manage to fully wedge themselves between responsibilities of our adult lives. We talked over steak sandwiches, decaf americanos and citrus tart. We talked about Catholic school for Ada and if we'll want to live in the Hudson Valley. We talked about growing a garden and how to best back up our various computers. We touched hands and lingered longer than we might have on any normal day. It was wonderful. I guess you might say that this was our 5th anniversary date. An added bonus is that childcare was already paid for. So 2012 is off to a good start.
On the way home I stopped to get some water and a meyer lemon because that's about all I'm craving right now. Endless gallons of water with lemon, specifically meyer lemon. I drank so much over the afternoon that I was too full to eat much more than a few bites of dinner. Anyway, I was wandering around in Whole Foods looking for something inspirational. I wanted to find something that would move me to grasp all the motivational energy that comes with the new year. While I was looking at the yoga DVDs I already have (but don't use) it dawned on me that all I really want to grasp these days is my pillow while the rest of me burrows more deeply between the flannel sheets. That's OK too so I gave up and went back to work.
Fast forward five or six hours and I was home. Tim started dinner while I folded laundry a few feet away in our bedroom. I could hear him directing Ada...something about bok choy...and I turned to look at what was going on. Since our house is small I then pivoted to grab my camera. This is exactly my perspective at that moment.
I love this moment. Him with her, her with him. Teaching, interacting...we only decided to have children because we figured it was the next step to knowing ourselves more completely. Having children makes parts of yourself accessible in a way that nothing else in the world can do. It's pretty amazing to find that you can show up in a situation with more patience than you thought your were capable of. Or more humor or empathy or whatever it is. It's another thing to witness this happening in the person you chose to spend your whole life with - to watch them transforming from who they once were into a father. This moment was proof that we are constantly growing, changing and adapting. It was a beautiful moment and it didn't require a yoga DVD to experience it. What I was looking for was, once again, under my nose the whole time. I'm living on acres of diamonds.
A special post is coming up about the new year. Check back on Wed for my thoughts on resolutions, lessons and what the take home message from 2011 was.