Chickadee

I've been done with my job for 3 full weeks now.

I went for dinner with friends from work the other day. One of them was asking me if I felt the expected sense of relief when I left my job. Truthfully? No, I didn't and I don't. I was still able to sit at the restaurant with them for 4 hours talking about everything, including work, as if I were still there. I still find myself having imaginary conversations with certain people - the kinds of conversations you could never have in real life because in them you're telling your superiors what you really think of them. So, no. It's still a little too fresh and the irritation a little too sensitive.

This guy is in the last weeks of his current position. He's king of a stress-ball and totally burned out. Our one-eyed cat totally doesn't let it get to her - she's in position for the night.

I spend a repulsive amount of my time taking care of business. So much so that I think my middle name should be changed to "gets shit done". My list of things to do has swelled to mind boggling proportions and includes "insurance" a lot. My belly has also grown making everything I do take so much longer. Today, we took the 33 bus home from the Haight. Yes, I rode the bus exactly 4 blocks - 4 UPHILL blocks. Ada thought it was a great adventure and I thought it was totally worth the $2 to make it up the hill without losing my breath or my breakfast. BONUS: we were on time to my dentist appointment and Ada was cooperative and relaxed because I wasn't nagging her to hurry up because we were late.

So, in a lot of ways things haven't calmed down at all. Here's what I notice though - while I am pre-occupied with insurance, bank accounts, registrations, de-activations, preparing our apartment for us to move out and taking care of my family what I'm NOT trying to do is all of this AND hold down a 40+ hour week at a job outside of my home. I'm not going to get into who has it worse, working moms or stay-at-home moms because that's an argument with no winner. However, I can say that in my experience, the past 3 weeks have been like a freaking vacation compared with what I've been trying to pull off for the past 3 years.

Mostly I love this because it leaves me with a lot more time to hang out with Ada.




Even if we aren't doing much, which we usually aren't, it doesn't matter. I sense it that she is good with the change. I think her behavior is much less volatile too, not that she has ever qualified as 'hard-to-handle'. Maybe it's just recall bias on my part but I objectively see that there are fewer outbursts and greater patience on both our parts. Since it's just life with a toddler, it's not all perfect but for the most part the days have a pace and flow that is just so easy.




This is also a blessed opportunity to know her this way too. Yeah, quality time is something to treasure but it seems to me that you never know which time you spend with your children will be quality and which of it will suck because somebody is teething or getting a virus. She's changing and growing so fast. I can hardly believe that in a week and a half she'll be 3 years old. Three! The ticking Widget timer is always on my mind too (provided he reads the text books). We have around 6 weeks left with just her and I.




She's still into the camera.




She likes to play school.




And at least someone is using the potty.




She's super helpful with getting the apartment ready for us to move out.




She digs hanging out with friends that we had previously only had the opportunity to see intermittently.




Sometimes they teach her bold things.




She sings and sings. I didn't know my daughter could come up with so many variations to 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' such as "he's the best, he's the best" and "Mommy mommy mommy mommy".

She can recite Marvin K Mooney Will You Please Go Now, Kittens First Full Moon, The Santa Claus Book, Emily's Balloon, Llama Llama Misses Mama and parts of Green Eggs and Ham.

She's industrious, organized, sweet and very smart.

I'm figuring out what works best to keep her occupied while I have to get things done and just how much neglect from me she will tolerate (e.g. how many chores can I get done before she notices). Every day I'm challenged to come up with new things for her to do and for us to do together. It's not all about entertainment though - the bulk of our time is spent closely doing normal stuff like scrambling eggs and taking a bath. I love it. I love having this opportunity to just be with her.

And that's my life as a stay-at-home mom. For now. This period is marked by such rapid change that I'm going to hang on to these moments with her for as long as I can. Tim told me the other day that he just wishes he could "slow her down". It's almost like you can see her changing right in front of you in a matter of a day. She's so freaking cute right now that I want to just soak it in as much as I possibly can.